Matthew Wayne Selznick

Well, the past few days have been very busy, a lot of fun, a bit frustrating, and very, very tiring.

All at once!

I shoved as many panels as possible into Wednesday and Thursday, plus dinner and partying with the folks from Podiobooks.com and Escape Pod — and all their friends, including Dragon Page regulars, podiobook authors, Escape Pod readers and writers, artists, and so on… who are a fine bunch of folks! That made for some full days and late nights.

Today, I slept until ten and didn’t get to a panel until something like one or two. I can’t recall. And there’s another party tonight (a whole floor of them at the hotel, actually) but I’ve spent most of the night catching up on e-mail and RSS. I’ll head up there when I’m done here.

Why do I say I’ve been frustrated? Well, I hoped to hear some forward thinking when it came to publishing, electronic media, and so on — this is a science fiction convention, after all. However, I forgot to consider that most of these authors, editors, and publishers are firmly dedicated to traditional publishing. They either can’t see an alternative, or they don’t see the alternatives as viable. Craziest of all, these people who spend so much time thinking about the future can’t allow that there might be a future for publishing that includes e-books, podcast, and print-on-demand as accepted media.

There are exceptions — but they are certainly the minority. This is an industry I thought would be chock-full of independent, underground media… but it’s actually an industry dominated by Big Publishing. Silly me.

Of course, there are independents… they’re called “fandom.” It’s a subculture that seems to revel in the “meta” — catch phrases, inside jokes, reverent history, deep tradition… a lot of energy, a lot of passion, and I admire that, don’t get me wrong… but it sure seems insular. I will grant that is probably my newbie’s perception coloring things.

I haven’t really learned anything at the various panels — a sharp contrast to my only other convention experience, last year’s Portable Media Expo. Often, these panels have diverged far afield, are taken over by individuals with agendas, or make assumptions that everyone in the audience knows the references and dropped names without explanation. Made an uninitiated outsider feel like… an outsider.

I understand — and appreciate — that these conventions are like family reunions, gatherings of old friends who don’t see each other in person all that often… and, no less important, these conventions are an opportunity for an entire sub-culture of misfits and outsiders to feel accepted and understood. I certainly value that… I mean, I’m a geek, myself.

I just might not be enough of a geek to really take value from this environment.

On the other hand…

I’ve really enjoyed getting to know Evo Terra, Jesse Willis, and Steve Eley better, live and in person. Conversations with Evo have been particularly enriching — we have some very similar attitudes about a lot of things… or at least that’s how it seems to me! Additionally, their circle of friends… indeed, nearly everyone I’ve met here so far… are genuinely nice people I bonded with quickly.

Note that nearly all of that is happening in a restaurant, or with drinks in a party suite. It turns out the most useful “take away” of the convention — meeting people I like and having good conversations — has nothing to do with science fiction culture. The fact that there’s a convention going on had very little to do with the topics of conversations I’ve been involved with after hours.

I’ve had a few! perfect strangers approach me and tell me how much they like “Brave Men Run,” which is just fantastic. Granted, two of those were drawn to me because I had the obvious-as-a-bare-lightbulb BMR tee-shirt on, but others simply recognized my face. Wild.

Believe me, I don’t want to give the impression that I haven’t been having fun. I have. I’ve just had to adjust my expectations a little. I don’t know if I needed five days of this. I know if I do this again, or any other genre conventions, I probably won’t go to panels unless I’m on them.

Funny. Part of me is afraid of offending or somehow betraying people by my not reporting a 100% wow-zowie experience here. I’m not dissing you folks, honest! The people I would diss… well, that might be for another post.

Here’s a great snapshot from today:

In the lobby of the Hilton, across from the convention hall, a whole family is checking in for the convention: Mom, Dad, and three little girls. Dad is wearing a Star Trek: The Next Generation uniform (command colors, of course.) All three little girls are skipping and dancing as they sing-song chant in the most excited, joyous way, over and over:

“Nerdy nerdy, nerdy nerdy, nerdy nerdy nerdy!”

Like an anthem.

Wear it proudly, kids!