Matthew Wayne Selznick

• @PGHolyfield all wives love BMR! #
• @GLSmyth what, you need a whole minute?? #
• OMFG I have so many emails I must learn to manage my new schedule it’s out of control. GAAK! #
• hello goodbye. off to eat dinner and apparently go right to bed! #
• Apparently my AIM isn’t twittering. Good morning, world… at work. #
• @evo_terra Not a word. #
• @mightymur Picture! Picture! #
• Not enough coffee? Too much coffee? Just tired? Who knows. #
• @mightymur I repeat: PICTURE of purple hair! #
• @caseymckinnon You oughta try Revver, if you’re not already! #

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When the first Expo came around last fall, I had been podcasting for a year. That didn’t mean anyone had actually heard my podcast… but it did mean I was viewed by some as one of the “old men” of podcasting. Even so, I still felt like a grade-A cadet, so PME 2005 was spent attending every single conference and keynote I could manage. This meant that I missed out on a great deal of socializing and networking.

This year, with twenty three months of podcasting under my belt and a slightly better-known podcast (that’s sarcasm, baby), I flipped my pattern and skipped the conferences in favor of networking, socializing, meeting people, and building existing relationships.

Hm. Y’know, “building existing relationships” sounds very, very cold and calculating. What I mean is that there are a handful of people I’ve logged very few hours with, but I carry them constantly in my thoughts. I wanted more of those folks!

Anyway. The point is, if you’re looking for an official report or overview on the presentations, vendors, or conferences, this is not the place. This is a heart transmission.

And so… as they come to me:

• Giant-sized warmth and love. Few things energize my soul more than meeting people face to face for the first time and knowing within minutes they’ll be friends, compatriots, and confidants for a long time to come. The list started at PME 2005, was extended at WorldCon, and is now happily even longer. I’ve long believed that blood doesn’t define family — shared experience, shared passion, and mutual support do. My family is larger and more rich after this event.
• Paul Puri! The man has a vision, people, and we found out many people share it and want to see it become reality. I’m proud to be part of it, and eager to act as missionary in the coming months. Also, Paul is a heck of a nice guy who served as a moral compass even when I don’t think he knew he was doing it.
• Because of his amazing contribution to the community and his generous patience supporting it, I was already inclined to like Dan Kuykendall. The fact that he reminded me of my favorite drummer in my favorite of all the bands I’ve been in made it even easier. I’m just sorry we didn’t get to hang out more.
• Ditto Rick Stringer. No, he didn’t remind me of old band members, but I’ve had respect for him for some time, and we even virtually worked together on a recent project. I was happy to meet him, and sorry I didn’t make more time to get to know him better! Door’s open, though.
• Strangest Moment Evah: Watching someone I met hours before have a meltdown of glee — squirming, squealing, foot-stamping, teary-eyed glee — when she finally realized I was the author of “Brave Men Run.” I… I’ve been sitting here for a minute — an actual minute, at least — with my fingers on the keyboard, trying to figure out how to document how that made me feel. How it still makes me feel. It may be a whole other blog post. For now… I can say that I am simultaneously confused, astounded, gratified, strengthened, and in awe that something I made could inspire that kind of reaction. Cass, you need to know that I was just as impressed with you, and your fan-girl meltdown is the least of the reasons I’m glad we’re friends.
• Oh, and one more thing on that particular incident: I now know how it feels to be Mark Jeffrey. Almost.
• Thanks to Karen from California for providing real insight — and bringing a tear to my eye — regarding the appeal of “Brave Men Run.”
• I think I do need to write about the BMR experience of PMEII. That’s another post. Let’s move on..!
• Kevin Mason and crew (why do I not have a single biz card from any one of you??? That’s just weird. I’m thinking I may have lost some.) are simply finest kind. I’m really glad we got to have breakfast together on Sunday morning, as it was as friends gathering rather than in the Expo / party setting.
• The first official face-to-face planning meeting of the Podcast Guild was a smashing success, and the buzz at the convention for the Guild was steady and encouraging. Look for us at Podcamp West in November… and then, everywhere.
• Nice to see again: Steve, Evo and Sheila, Christiana Ellis, DJ Steveboy, Mark Jeffrey… and more than a few people memory is denying me at this moment, so please don’t take offense!!
• Ghost hunting in the halls of the Marriott with Cat.
• Kung Fu Samurai on Giant Robot Island. Thanks to Chris, Paul, and Steve for making my first geek card game experience a Gojira-sized amount of fun, and for taking me out of mild case of the grumbles.
• Thank you, Kat, John Poindexter, Fonz, Kid, and my adopted punk-rock son Walt for taking me back to my twenty-two year old rock and roll beer-soaked yesterdays. Good fun.
• Mur Lafferty, you weren’t there, but I still have you to thank for one of the biggest “take aways” of the weekend.
• This year’s version of last year’s celebrity bullshit: The PodShow limo and exclusive party. Apparently some podcasters were hand-picked to ride off in a giant Hummer (did they get, or have to give, giant hummers?) to a PodShow party. This kind of exclusivity and faux-rock-star posturing is far removed from the spirit of community otherwise evident in podcasting, and speaks volumes.
• Wish I had spent more time with Corey, Tee, Rick, and Miss Peter. Party chaos and work responsibilities conspired against. Let’s not wait another year, folks.
• Good people, good works:
  • Corey, Marisol, and IODA / Promonet. Get with it, music podcasters, they’re on your side. This is my official announcement that, after being a member for a year, I will be actively using Promonet in Sonitotum from here on out
  • Chris Heuer and Social Media Club. Thanks for your input and involvement with the Podcast Guild.
  • Todd Cochrane and RawVoice. I give Todd a hard time now and then, but I never doubt that he keeps the best interests of podcasters and the community in mind at all times.
  • Russell Holliman and Podcast Ready. Being held at spear-point has its benefits… and the support for Russell was evident. Thanks also to Russell for the use of the Podcast Ready suite for the Podcast Guild meeting, and for his contribution to the discussion.
• Happy to have finally met in person: Tee, Scott, Mike, Rob, Nicole, Miss Peter… many others, no doubt. The weekend is a blur.
• Sorry I couldn’t say good-bye in person: Corey, Karen, Evo and Sheila, Rick, Julius, Mike, Tee, Cat, Olga and Curt, Scott, Doug, Ray… many others, no doubt. That last night was a bit disjointed.

That’s probably enough name-dropping. Here’s are several parallel bottom lines:

• I miss people already, some, quite a lot. Let’s buy a couple hundred acres somewhere and live communally so we can see each other whenever we want. I want to know you well enough to have arguments.
• People are moved by my art. I need to accept that, and get comfortable with it while also avoiding becoming an asshole.
• My desire to avoid a full-time day job outside of my creative interests has been enhanced and inflamed.

PME 2005 was an aha moment for many of us. PME 2006 was a celebration and affirmation. PME 2007 will be a family reunion… but there’s no way I’m going to let a year go by before I see some of these people again.

Well, the past few days have been very busy, a lot of fun, a bit frustrating, and very, very tiring.

All at once!

I shoved as many panels as possible into Wednesday and Thursday, plus dinner and partying with the folks from Podiobooks.com and Escape Pod — and all their friends, including Dragon Page regulars, podiobook authors, Escape Pod readers and writers, artists, and so on… who are a fine bunch of folks! That made for some full days and late nights.

Today, I slept until ten and didn’t get to a panel until something like one or two. I can’t recall. And there’s another party tonight (a whole floor of them at the hotel, actually) but I’ve spent most of the night catching up on e-mail and RSS. I’ll head up there when I’m done here.

Why do I say I’ve been frustrated? Well, I hoped to hear some forward thinking when it came to publishing, electronic media, and so on — this is a science fiction convention, after all. However, I forgot to consider that most of these authors, editors, and publishers are firmly dedicated to traditional publishing. They either can’t see an alternative, or they don’t see the alternatives as viable. Craziest of all, these people who spend so much time thinking about the future can’t allow that there might be a future for publishing that includes e-books, podcast, and print-on-demand as accepted media.

There are exceptions — but they are certainly the minority. This is an industry I thought would be chock-full of independent, underground media… but it’s actually an industry dominated by Big Publishing. Silly me.

Of course, there are independents… they’re called “fandom.” It’s a subculture that seems to revel in the “meta” — catch phrases, inside jokes, reverent history, deep tradition… a lot of energy, a lot of passion, and I admire that, don’t get me wrong… but it sure seems insular. I will grant that is probably my newbie’s perception coloring things.

I haven’t really learned anything at the various panels — a sharp contrast to my only other convention experience, last year’s Portable Media Expo. Often, these panels have diverged far afield, are taken over by individuals with agendas, or make assumptions that everyone in the audience knows the references and dropped names without explanation. Made an uninitiated outsider feel like… an outsider.

I understand — and appreciate — that these conventions are like family reunions, gatherings of old friends who don’t see each other in person all that often… and, no less important, these conventions are an opportunity for an entire sub-culture of misfits and outsiders to feel accepted and understood. I certainly value that… I mean, I’m a geek, myself.

I just might not be enough of a geek to really take value from this environment.

On the other hand…

I’ve really enjoyed getting to know Evo Terra, Jesse Willis, and Steve Eley better, live and in person. Conversations with Evo have been particularly enriching — we have some very similar attitudes about a lot of things… or at least that’s how it seems to me! Additionally, their circle of friends… indeed, nearly everyone I’ve met here so far… are genuinely nice people I bonded with quickly.

Note that nearly all of that is happening in a restaurant, or with drinks in a party suite. It turns out the most useful “take away” of the convention — meeting people I like and having good conversations — has nothing to do with science fiction culture. The fact that there’s a convention going on had very little to do with the topics of conversations I’ve been involved with after hours.

I’ve had a few! perfect strangers approach me and tell me how much they like “Brave Men Run,” which is just fantastic. Granted, two of those were drawn to me because I had the obvious-as-a-bare-lightbulb BMR tee-shirt on, but others simply recognized my face. Wild.

Believe me, I don’t want to give the impression that I haven’t been having fun. I have. I’ve just had to adjust my expectations a little. I don’t know if I needed five days of this. I know if I do this again, or any other genre conventions, I probably won’t go to panels unless I’m on them.

Funny. Part of me is afraid of offending or somehow betraying people by my not reporting a 100% wow-zowie experience here. I’m not dissing you folks, honest! The people I would diss… well, that might be for another post.

Here’s a great snapshot from today:

In the lobby of the Hilton, across from the convention hall, a whole family is checking in for the convention: Mom, Dad, and three little girls. Dad is wearing a Star Trek: The Next Generation uniform (command colors, of course.) All three little girls are skipping and dancing as they sing-song chant in the most excited, joyous way, over and over:

“Nerdy nerdy, nerdy nerdy, nerdy nerdy nerdy!”

Like an anthem.

Wear it proudly, kids!

Some folks have been after me to blog about my first-ever booksigning, which went down this past Saturday. I apologize that it’s taken me so long, my faithful handful of readers… I’ve been swamped with three different freelance projects, one under a hard deadline (should be working now…!!!)

Anyhoo…

I’ve hosted / babysat many, many first time authors in my former life as a manager for a major bookseller (the one headquartered in Ann Arbor, MI.) I know what a first-time author should expect… that is, they should have no expectations at all, except perhaps that they’re going to have a fun four hours watching people buy other people’s books.

So I went to my local B&N with a nice flier featuring the cover of the book in an acrylic standee, a bunch of business cards, a couple of fine-point Sharpees (the bookstore provided a handful of black ball-point pens… um, host many signings, Victorville???) and prepared for nothing. And I was disappointed, because nothing did not happen.

I was there as part of a “festival” of five local authors. We were all set up next to each other behind a long table to the left of the main entrance of the store. I wondered if this was such a good idea at first, but it turned out to be advantageous — we were a presence, where we may have been lost if we were all at different tables scattered through the store.

The range of subject matter represented at that table helped matters, too — there was me and my alternate-history quasi-young-adult comics pastiche, a thematically connected collection of fantasy-horror, a book of poetry written by a fourteen year old girl, a futuristic message fantasy, and a WWII memoir. (Sorry I don’t have links for everyone!!!)

I made a point of smiling and saying “hello” to every warm body wandering close enough to snare, and the other authors picked up on that and added their grins and greets to our collective friendly, but not the slightest bit desperate, thank you very much, presence. It helped… there were even a few kindly folks who went down the table one by one, asked us all what our books were about, and bought one of each.

I had a couple of nifty moments:

First, a woman drove from about an hour away as a favor to one of my podcast listeners who lives in another state. While I was signing the book, she called the listener and I chatted with him! Turns out he listened to the podcast, couldn’t wait for it to end, bought the MP3 CD version, and now wanted a signed copy of the book. That brought a smile to my face… and still does!

Near the end of the day, a woman came up, picked up a copy of the book, and said, “You wrote this?”

“Yep,” I said.

She stuck out her hand. “Congratulations. That’s quite an accomplishment.”

We shook hands. I was bowled over, because I have to say, most people don’t realize what’s involved with writing a book. Damn it, it is an accomplishment, and I thanked her for recognizing that. That was pretty darn cool.

Also fun was talking with a young guy about his own interest in writing, and hyping Lulu.com to my fellow authors… two had used the more expensive, less friendly POD services out there, and were crying about the hundreds of dollars they’d dumped to get their books into print. They were shocked to hear that they could have done it all for about a fifth of the price, or less. So there you go, Lulu, enjoy the future business and remember me.

I sold eight books… about half the stock… and signed the others to rest semi-permanently on the store’s shelves (BMR is non-returnable!) It’s possible that at least some of the other authors and I might team up for future signings, as the whole “we’re all independent authors” thing really seemed to work in our favor.

So my first booksigning experience was 100% positive. I know enough to recognize that I was lucky, and that the next one may not be so rosy.

Whenever the next one is…!

I’m very pleased to announce that the Brave Men Run Podcast has been… nominated to tbe nominated… in the Best Storytelling category of the first Podcast Peer Awards.

I’m sitting here shaking my head, once again. It’s moving to me that folks care enough about my work to put it in the spotlight like this. Very cool.

These awards are selected and decided on by fellow podcasters… if you are a podcaster and a BMR fan, I’d love it if you could head over to their forum and add your voice to the nomination! If the BMR podcast makes it through this round of voting, it will be among the five podcasts in the category eligible to actually win.

Wow!