That’s my state of mind right now, and it’s reallly, seriously, pardon the f-bomb, fucking frustrating to the point of rage.
Why is it so difficult to write?
Why do I find myself doing just about anything else?
Why does everything I put down on the page seem stilted and stupid and stale?
Fuck. Fuck. Fuck.
Maybe I need to forget that it’s a fantasy. Maybe I need to forget that it’s not our world. I don’t mean throw those elements of the story out… but maybe I need to stop worrying so much about tone and style and other points of contention.
There’re three people in a room. One of them has something the other two want. Press start.
It’s not rocket science, but I think I’m making it into same.
Yeargh. Seriously.
Update: So, after this little whine-fest, I wrote a thousand odd words; the first chapter. Got it off the ground. I feel better. If not completely back on track, at least my Butt Is In The Chair and I’m Writing.
Is it me, or did that gratuitous use of Upper Case feel kinda Stuart Smalley to you, too?
3 comments
Matt
Thanks, psb, Chris… I did put down a thousand words or so after my little tantrum, and I think I’m on the right track. It’s gonna happen, no worries!
Chrispian
Matt,
I just wanted to say – write more buddy! You can’t just drop BMR and not give me more. It’s look book crack. Don’t get me hooked and then make me do bad things I’ll regret just for a fix.
Speaking of, lets not tell anyone what I did for BMR 😉
psb
Boy! You sure are hard on yourself! You have so much talent it is blocking the door out of your brain, each letter, each word fighting to get to the page first whether it should be first or not.
There is a war/battle going on in your productive brain and your physical body is feeling the wear and tear…and then…you think about it!!!!!!
I don’t claim to have anywhere near your talent in writing, you know I don’t, but the little that I do have and have tried to use in the past has often dealt me the same blocking and doubt.
Do you remember my Automatic Writing? Have you ever tried that when you get “stuck”?
Just wondering?
Anyway…you DID write and I hope you can find comfort in that fact.
psb